Today was rough. Went to an audition, and it was rough, embarrassing even. I love to sing, nothing makes me happier, and I am confident in my vocal range. But I am a perfectionist and a procrastinator, two things that don’t mix well together. I need things to be perfect or my confidence is zip.

I have been sad lately. I need to turn my thoughts into stories, and turn those stories into music, music of my own that is perfect in every way because it is my creation. I am a creator.

Now only if I could find time to create, and find that confidence that seems to have left me.

Hi, I’m Stevo.

My faith is lacking, I don’t want it to. I am sad, I usually am. What have I made of myself? Nothing. Who am I? I am no longer as strong as I used to be. I am small, mentally and physically. Who will ever read this? I am drowning in my tears of unhappiness, uneasiness, and procrastination. What happened to my self worth.

Today is Day 1 in my exercise phase. I started going to a gym around here today on a trial. Parking is horrible, and the gym is in a basement with no data reception for my phone so I gotta preload my songs to listen to, but all should be well. I feel great though! and that’s what matters. I am hoping to take a lot of stress off my shoulders by lifting (that doesn’t sound right). Anyway, the day is looking good so far, I gotta get my place clean and get to work on some web stuff. I love you, whoever reads any of this.

A classic song performed by The Offspring. This was the music of my youth and initially introduced me into the world of rock music. At this time in my life, punk rock was usually my music of choice. It gave me drive, it gave me a sense of belonging, a sense of better self esteem.

Enjoy.

I surely don’t– yet here I am complaining. I would be a hypocrite. I try to be grateful, but often this blog is a way for me to release my negative energy. I think it’s when you complain around people, friends, colleagues– that’s where it isn’t good. We must stop and think about what we are most grateful for, and be vocal about it.

I am grateful for having an iPhone! or a blanket and a cat that keeps me company. I am grateful to have an awesome girlfriend!

Be grateful and stop complaining.

Check out the links page– I added some fancy social icons!

I am reaching out. I am lost. I am mean. I probably have a lot of issues deep within that I can’t figure out how to handle. I am sarcastic, and dry. I make you cry.

I don’t seem to care about anything, I have a guilty conscience that I often ignore, and it will probably ruin me. Waht is wrong with me? I have no clue. I have the best, the best of situations, I just don’t know how to handle them. I am annoyed by the simple. I am weighed down by so much and can’t handle it. I am broken. I am I am I am. I = Self centered, which is most likely my problem. But then again, must we take care of ourselves before we can take care of others? I must be a hypocrite. Google SEO is going to capture every moment of this post and I will probably look like a bum to the world. I suppose I am just reaching out.

I am late, always late. It too will be my defeat.

Perhaps I am cynical. Actually– for anyone that knows me, I am everything opposite of that. You see, any bit of cynical feelings that I may have, I hide. This is my weakness. So please listen as I vent. I simply cannot stand when people take up my time. I make plans and they are defeated by someone that I see almost every day (no, it isn’t you Kneecole). I make plans, I attempt to get things done, but then they are twisted. This delay in my life is usually influenced by another human being through this other source I speak of (if that makes any sense). This individual is a lazy one, does not pick up after itself, wastes power and energy, and could care less for life itself. This individual needs help, yet I cannot help this individual. Sometimes I want to punch this individual, but I can’t and wont (let alone punch any individual unless it was life threatening). I am a stable individual, but goodness– sometimes I wonder if it’s easier to just tell people as it is instead of keeping my feelings to myself.

So there you have it, the real me. I am a lover, not a fighter– but sometimes I wish I was a fighter.

Oh! Were you looking for me? Too bad.

Stevo

What does this mean? I have no clue, I wish I could tell you. But this is the new site, revamp number 457,632. I don’t know how the future will go, but I pray for nothing but goodness. I have been home for a couple weeks now, and life is crazy, and busy, but I am hoping that it will all come together soon. Music? Anyone have anything to share? Please feel free to contact me with anything you would like for me to post, and I will see that it is done.

What would you like to see on stevo.org ? What should this site even be? In the past it was a blog, and today it’s about nothing. Perhaps it could be a portal to other websites I have. Anyway I love this site, so let’s give it some love by giving it some ideas.

As you can see the comment system (which is hopefully working) is linked to facebook, pretty nifty huh? — enjoy it.

If you have any suggestions for Stevo.org, or come across any bugs, please let me know.

Cheers.